The Meaning of Love
by Silent.Surrender
Summary: He felt pleasure in the death and suffering he brought to others. She was such a mild, gentle soul that it was impossible to hurt another without guilt. In a desert sea, there is only Hinata, Gaara and the sand. He needed love. She needed to give it.


_**A/N:**__ Hey there folks. I'm glad you guys are reading this.*gives cookie* I've written fanfiction before, not just Naruto, but this is the first one that I deemed good enough to publish. I really hope it's not too OOC, but neh. What can you do?_

_I really hope you enjoy the meaning of love, and don't forget to review. I encourage constructive criticism, but if you're just gonna flame me about the pairing, don't bother. I love non-canon pairings. :)_

_So without further ado...HAPPY READING!_

_[Oh, and I also know that when the Shukaku is extracted from Gaara and he dies, he still has the ability to manipulate sand after Chiyo revives him. But in this Fanfic, let's just pretend he can't, ne? ;P]_

**Disclaimer: Oh yeah, I totally own Naruto. That's why I'm writing fanfic, right? No, don't buy that. It's total bullshit. :)**

* * *

He stood watching the wind swirl around the sand dunes, changing its shape, never allowing it to settle for a mere second.

His eyes were hard as they searched the ever-shifting dunes for an answer.

_Why was he here? What purpose did he have now, after the demon had been ripped from his soul?_

_Why was he still alive?_

When he closed his eyes, the nightmares of thousands and the terrors of millions floated in his head, relentlessly. Flashes of horrors, abominations… sins flashed deep in the depths.

Wrath, Fury, Revenge, Greed, Terror here these things thrived. They found solid ground and they sprouted roots and dug in their hold, tenacious, unbreakable. Their roots groped and dug spreading deeper and farther until they could never be unearthed.

His fists clenched in anger, but the sand that used to shield his physique lay unhindered at his feet. His face remained stoic but he couldn't help but softly exhale in frustration. _What was his purpose?_

She was walking in the village hidden in the sand, visiting an acquaintance she knew from her childhood. She walked with a girly simplicity, her pearly lavender orbs fixated on the landscape afar.

Activating the byakugan, she saw a red haired man in the distance, with a large gourd on his back. She gasped softly when she realised who the figure was in front of him. She watched him battle Rock Lee at the chuunin exams...and he was the one who had once felt the spirit of the Shukaku flow through his veins.

_...Gaara of the desert._

She could see with her unfailing vision, the clenched fists, the tense posture, and she was sure that his face would have been fighting to conceal anguish. Hinata was not one to ignore the melancholy aura that she felt when she saw someone that looked like the red head did now. He might have been intimidating, and there was a certain extent of her mind that feared him. But he needed...someone. Something. And she needed to help him.

Nervously, her step hesitating another second, she ambled her way through the sand hills, closer to his figure. She had no idea what she was going to say, but she refused to remain silent.

* * *

He heard her coming from a mile away.

He could tell without turning his head that this was no kunoichi from his village - the chakra signature was something he could distinctly remember as one of the Hyuuga clan members.

_...Hinata-san. Of the hidden leaf village._

What she wanted from him, he did not know. Still, as she approached, he fought to hide all emotion from his body. He did not want her to see him in this vulnerable state. He had managed to erase all evidence of the internal dispute that raged on in his head when at last, she reached his side. He listened to her take two deep breaths, her gaze steadily trained on the shifting sand dunes, as he was watching previously. He could see from his peripheral vision that she fidgeted with her hands, twisting them as she searched for words to speak. He waited calmly, not realising that his own hands had unintentionally relaxed as he watched her with a mild curiosity.

"...Kazekage-sama" she murmured in a low aside.

His body froze at the sound of her voice. He had never heard someone speak with such sincerity, such _concern_ to him before - not even Temari or Kankuro. The simple tenor of her voice revealed something he longed for - support...an interest that went beyond his potential as a ninja. Someone who cared about who he was - a human being. She had his full attention now. He would hear that caring voice again. Even if he had to plead for her to speak.

"Kazekage-sama...I...I beg you to hear me out..." she mumbled, hesitating.

_Little did she know he hung on to every word like a lifeline._

"I have heard of what you've been through. And I...I have no right to say that I know what you feel...but, I want to help you. They say you are cold...that you have no heart. But...I believe that you're just misjudged. I know...I know what it means to have everyone expect you to be something...but then you don't want to be that person. Please...G...Gaara-kun...I can't stand seeing someone so...tormented. Let me help you."

For the first time, Gaara felt uncertainty. She...wanted to help him? How could she tell...why was she doing this? But then he absorbed her words, and realised she knew more about him than anyone else in his whole village. And...she had called him Gaara-_kun_. Like an equal...or even a friend. He knew that she was still a chuunin, and being the Kazekage demanded more respect. But surprisingly, he couldn't bring himself to care. He...appreciated the fact that she saw him as a person, not a superior.

He replayed her words over and over again in his head, oblivious to the fact that Hinata's cheeks had taken on a pinkish hue. _Let me help you...Gaara-kun...you're just misjudged._ He absorbed as much of the meaning as he could. It was clear that she worried about him, but 16 years of nothing but hate, greed and wrath had taken its toll. He didn't know how to react.

"Please...say something." she begged, unable to take the silent musing.

He faced her then, his face stoic except for the tentative flash in his sky blue eyes. He watched as she turned redder than before, and how her fingertips trembled slightly. Disregarding all of this, he scrutinised her pearly eyes, looking for an answer in their depths.

"...What will you have me say, kunoichi?" he breathed, finally.

He ignored her as she flinched at his formality.

"Tell me...tell me you'll let me help you. Tell me that you won't berate yourself anymore." she pleaded softly.

He disregarded the unfamiliar swell in his chest as he registered her words. "I have no need for help. And how I handle my own problems is not your business, kunoichi." he uttered with an air of finality.

When she looked down at her feet, twisting her fingers more than ever, he wondered what the peculiar sensation he felt in his chest was. It was unpleasant - and he wanted it to stop.

_Guilt, Idiot. You're feeling guilty. _His subconscious reminded him.

Oh. So that was what it was. He did not usually entertain such feelings, and he wondered why now, of all times, his long suppressed emotions would finally make their debut.

He watched her calmly, to hear what else she would say, but it seemed that she had run out of words.

Gaara inhaled slowly before speaking, trying to undo the awkward tension he had created with his harsh words. "Hyuuga-san...I have had a hard life." he whispered to the sand-dunes, knowing that she listened ardently. "I...cannot ask you to help me. There is much that I have seen that you couldn't imagine in your darkest nightmares. Affection...encouragement...companionship...I know nothing of these."

Unable to push away his long hidden emotions, he dropped the facade he hid behind, and let the anger and frustration show through.

He faced her then, his eyes abandoning any form of pretence as the desperation leaked into them. "Hyuuga-san, how can you fix what was never there?" he whispered in defeat.

* * *

Her eyes widened in shock as she watched the harsh ninja crumble away and the neglected man made his appearance. She was sure that he had never let his guard down in front of anyone before, and to see such anguish and distress on his face made her heart throb in response.

_They all say he cares for no-one...when he's really crying out for love._

His eyes never left hers, and she began to tremble under his gaze. As she watched him closer, his eyes began to grow distant and more withdrawn, and he faced the sand dunes again. He composed himself, leaving no evidence of the sudden emotional outbreak he had displayed.

She thought wildly of appropriate words to say. She wanted him to come out of his shell again, like he did a few seconds ago. But before she could say anything, he spoke, his voice barely a whisper.

"Hinata-san... what _is_ love?" he murmured softly in an attractive baritone.

She inhaled in surprise. Hinata...san? Not Hyuuga-san? Or kunoichi? He addressed her in the way Kiba would have. And he was asking her what love was? How was she supposed to explain such a thing?

She thought about how she would answer him for a while, grateful that he didn't seem irritated with her long silence. A thousand possibilities flashed behind her eyes: a mere dictionary definition, a long lecture on the principles of love, or even claiming that she didn't know what the answer was. But when the answer dawned on her, she moved slowly, refusing to give herself time to think about what she was doing, she slid her hand into his.

_His hands...they're so cold._

She felt him tense under the contact, but was grateful he didn't pull away. She started caressing soft, smooth, circles on the skin that connected his thumb to his hand. When he slowly relaxed, she smiled to herself when she thought he became a bit warmer. After a few minutes of silent stroking of his hand, she looked up at the towering figure, and bit back a grin when she registered the serene expression on his usually severe features.

She said the first words that came to her mind."Gaara-kun," she began, "Love is not something that can be seen, heard, or even touched."

She felt as though her heart was inflating as he squeezed her hand lightly in response.

_He's learning. That, at least is a start._

"It is something that can only be felt with the heart." she concluded, smiling softly at their intertwined hands.

"...Hinata-san," he murmured, coaxing her eyes back up to his.

She raised her eyes to meet his, and tried her hardest not to gasp at his expression.

"Teach me. Teach me how to feel."

_His eyes...they're so warm._

"You're already teaching yourself." she whispered gently. She gave his hand an encouraging squeeze.

He looked down, ashamed. "I...don't know how...how to..." he muttered, trailing off.

She swallowed her nervousness and stepped closer to him, so their chests were almost touching. Tentatively, hoping that he wouldn't freeze, she raised her other hand to his cheek, stroking it in the same way she did with his hand. She noticed how he refused to meet her eyes, and trained his gaze on the sandy ground they stood on instead. She marvelled at how soft his skin was, and the way that it warmed under her touch. It seemed that she had to encourage him to let his guard down, because he held on to it so tightly for the last 16 years that he didn't know how to unleash it.

_I won't let you get hurt, Gaara-kun. Just let me in...Let me save you from this nightmare._

* * *

He swallowed uneasily as he felt the blood rush to the cheek she was softly caressing. He averted his eyes to the ground they stood on, watching as stray wisps of sand danced in the wind. He didn't look at her, afraid of what her face would look like, afraid of how his own looked. Never in his life had he felt so alive - and insecure. The tender expression he would see in her eyes, the...unwavering _love_ he found there was enough to undo him. She cared about him. And now, though he didn't realise it yet, he was becoming attached to her compassion, like a hungry child receiving its first meal.

The usually composed Kazekage now lifted shaking fingertips to Hinata's cheek. Every cell in his body was screaming at him to stop, to think about what he was doing. But he ignored them, regardless.

_I will reject another's love no longer._

He moved so slowly, he wondered if the distance would ever come to an end. When his fingers made contact to the soft plane of pale skin, she shivered, and he assumed he had done something wrong.

He started to pull away when she murmured, "No...don't," and moved closer.

"Was that wrong?" he questioned faintly, searching her eyes.

She smiled despite herself. "No Gaara-kun...that was...right."

He nodded, and began to stroke her cheek the way she had done previously.

He had never done something like this before - touching another's cheek in affection, with no intention to harm them. He didn't realise that she was watching in awe at his facial expressions rolling across like movie credits. _Amazement...uncertainty...nervousness...and a small flicker of something that looked like...tenderness?_

Was this it? Had he found the answer? It made sense to want to continue living if this was what people felt with someone special. Never before had someone looked at him with loving eyes...but then Hinata-san came along. Wanting to help, to pull him from the dark abyss that said he was bound to live as a being that knew no empathy, knew no love.

The distance between them had closed, and now they held each other in their arms. He was still unaccustomed to such contact, but welcomed it. He hoped that Hinata-san would hold him like this again. He hoped that she wouldn't leave him, but stay. Stay and let him stand in the light of such a pure soul.

"...Hinata-san... Is this what people live for? Is this what is known as...love?" he questioned.

Her eyes held his and she answered with the utmost truth. "Gaara-kun...as long as you can see that life is worth living, it'll be enough. But...if it's ok...I'll stay with you. Because I never want to see you as that cold, distant man again."

"I find no need to revert to former self...as long as you stay."

When she did nothing but nod once, he inclined his head forward slowly, and his lips met her forehead.

* * *

_THANKS FOR READING! DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW! I'LL GIVE YOU COOKIES!_


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